Abuse Survival Kit: Protecting Yourself in a Dangerous Relationship

Protecting Yourself in a Dangerous Relationship

Print and Carry with you

If you are still in the relationship:

• Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs; avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom) or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
• Think about and make a list of safe people to call.
• Keep change with you at all times.
• Memorize all important numbers.
• Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, teachers or coworkers know when to call for help.
• Think about what you will say to your partner if he or she becomes violent.
• Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.

Your Personal Safety Plan

The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse. Although I can‘t control my abuser‘s violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself whether and when I will tell others that I have been abused or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and coworkers can help protect me, if they know what is happening and what they can do to help.

To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:

• When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can ________________________________
• When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can ___________________________________
• I will have a code word for my family, coworkers or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is ________________
• When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as (at work)__________, (at home)____________, (in public)_________________.
• I can tell my family, coworkers, boss or a friend about my situation.
• I feel safe telling: I can use an answering machine or ask my coworkers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors.
• I can ask to help screen my phone calls. (home)________ (work) _____________
• I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times.
• I can ask to help screen my phone calls. (home)________ (work) _____________
• I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.
• Friend ______________________
• Relative _____________________
• Coworker __________________
• Counselor ____________________
• Shelter _____________________
• Other ___________________
• When leaving work I can: ___________________________
• When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can: _____________________
• I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are:__________________

Telephone numbers I need to know:

• Police/Sheriff‘s Department: ___________________
• Probation officer: _________________
• Domestic violence/sexual assault program:________________
• Counselor: ________________
• Clergy: _____________________
• Lawyer: ___________________
• Other: ____________________

After you have left the relationship:

• Change your phone number.

Screen calls.

Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.

Change locks if the batterer has a key.

Avoid staying alone.

Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.

If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.

• Vary your routine.
• Notify school and work contacts.
• Call a shelter for battered women.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TDD)